THE FIRST OFFICIAL DATE © [CHAPTER TWO]

It was now the morning of April 17, the day of the first “official date.” On this night, I was going to formally meet with the man that I met two evenings earlier, the man that introduced himself to me at a local restaurant. Let us call him Gary.

Hours and hours before my date with Gary, a friend of mine was planning to come over just to chat. The friend coming to my home on this day was, and I assume still is, male. He was a male friend, however, he was not a boyfriend, nor was he a best friend. Actually, he was barely a friend; he was merely a person that I was becoming familiar with. The man coming to my home for an afternoon of conversation was not as the “best friend” that Gary’s spoke of in our first conversation. You may recall that the first time Gary noticed me, he was dining with a person that he called his “best friend.” The friend that was coming to my home that morning was not a person that I “slept” with. I mention this for it seems significant now. Later, I would discover that Gary regularly “slept” with what he was calling his “best friend.”

The friend that was coming to my home was not a person that I would ever want to be more than a “friend.” He was not one that I would wish to “sleep” with, to snuggle with; he was not one that would bring me a sense of solidarity. He was and would never be more than a platonic partner. Even if we were closer than we were in that moment, the man visiting me during daylight hours was not a person that excites me in a special way; he was not infinitely interesting to me. His interests were not as intellectually broad as I prefer. For long ago, even as a young child, I knew that I needed a well-used and brilliant brain. I knew that I needed an animated, vibrant, empathetic, and enthusiastic energy to feel whatever it is that creates a connection.

At least I knew that much of myself. I knew my preferences, my desires; however, at this time in my life I did not realize that I needed, wanted, and desired more than a powerful mind, more than a liveliness, more than a mere sense of compassion. I had no thought of what was truly essential before I was able to feel a deeper, more genuine, and healthy connection. I could not imagine what was to come. I had no idea of what I would learn; nor could I conceive of how this person, Gary, this story, would change my life. I did not even know why I was going on this date; and this is what I was saying all that afternoon.

[Chapter Two in a series.]